Sunday, May 15, 2011

The Whole Dress Thing Again

Alright, how about some levity?  I've had 3 shitty weeks filled with pain, confusion, and heartbreak.  Let's have a non-pity party...

Let's go back to the dress search thing.  Where we last visited this tale, we had found the dress in the right color and one size too big (although we could definitely alter it to fit) and they were shipping it to us via Texas.  The end, happily ever after.

Not so much....

The dress arrived with two calamities...1) The FedEx dummy left it on our front door step outside.  We only use our back door, so we didn't know the dress was there for 2 or 3 days.  We didn't even think to look at the front door because all the UPS and FedEx delivery people always use our backdoor for the multitude of packages we get of Tyson's medical supplies.  Luckily, for this particular delivering butthead, it did not rain the 3 days it was on the front steps.  2) It was the wrong color!!!!  I'm not kidding you!  We tracked this dress down across the country...size 18 (one size too big) and the color lapis...style number...oh I can't remember.  And they send us the wrong freaking color!!!!  I'm pretty sure the bridesmaid dress gods are trying to kill me.

My mom called the store to have a strongly worded conversation with them as I was in the hospital with Tyson.  After my mom told them of their mishap, they decided to go look for the correct dress.  And guess what?  It was gone!  Because we had already paid for the dress, they owed it to me whether they lost it or not, bastards.  They scoured the dressing rooms and found MY dress that I already bought that they were letting some other fat chick (yes, she has to be fat since I am) try on.  Should we have demanded some money back?  Oh, too much trouble and we have already been through so much already.  Mom boxed up the wrong dress and sent it back.  They promised to send the right dress as soon as they got the wrong dress in their hands.

We waited patiently for the dress to arrive.  This time we checked both the front and back door porches to make sure no one left it there to be ruined by rain...or bird poop which is more like my luck.  It finally arrived last week while I was at the hospital with Tyson.  It sat safe and sound in my office until I was able to get home and make sure it was the right one.

I went home on Friday night to an empty house and was excited to finally have my dress in my hands.  Well, I was slightly nervous too because I kept thinking since everything up to this point has gone wrong, the odds were, if there was anything at all that could go wrong again, it would.  I saw the box in my office and was kind of taken aback at how jacked up it was.  It looked like a truck drove over it, the driver got out and stomped on it, then got back in his truck and drove over it again, then dragged it behind the truck for a few hours, then let the neighborhood kids use it as a bike ramp...  You get my drift?  This box held a one-of-a-kind $160 dress that I went through hell to find, and the box was falling apart.  I was thinking about homicide.

Reminding myself that my husband is a police officer, I put the homicidal thoughts to the side and opened the box.  I opened it like Charlie opened the Wonka Bar looking for the golden ticket.  Was it the right color?  Drum roll please.....LAPIS!  Woot!  The right color got to us!  Now to try it on.

Since I had the house to myself (my hubs was working, Ty was in the hospital with Gramma watching him, Annie was at her bio dad's, and the boys were at Gram's house), I dropped my clothes in the middle of the living room and pulled the dress on.  When trying dresses on previously, I felt like meat being stuffed into a sausage casing...When pulling this dress over my body, I felt like a midget in a circus tent.  How on Earth can one dress size bigger be so different from a dress that fit perfectly?  I hope the seamstress can fix that...

After finally feeling like a skinny girl trying on dresses, I took off the dress and put the bag over it bringing it to the closet to put away until we go see the seamstress next weekend.  While doing this, I thought, "Hm, I wonder if the color is just like Annie's dress like the swatch was."  Sigh...not perfect.  Close, but not perfect.  Not sure if it will work.  But dammit, I'm not getting another dress.  Annie will have to!  So there!

So dress in hands.  Now to get it fitted...and maybe to find Annie a new dress.

2 comments:

  1. I'm enjoying these posts, since I'm going through the same stuff right now. Hasn't been as bad for me as it has been for you though. Last time I had a fitting the moron lady at the dress store put me in the wrong dress. She made me put on the other bridesmaid's dress, which was small, and then said, "I thought you said you lost weight, this is tight!" Right in front of a handful of 17 year old beauty queens trying on prom dresses. Grrr.

    ReplyDelete
  2. OMG--laughing so hard that Jim's starting to worry about my sanity. You are such a great writer Taydoe!!! I think the colors of yours and Annie's dresses are close enough. I would also like to look at them in the sunshine to though. I got to thinking how I should have tried to bargain with them on the price of that dress--considering it was the last one in the country that was close to your size. . .not a good idea. Hey--did they send a check with the dress for the postage I paid? (Taydoe's mommay)

    ReplyDelete

Be nice, or thou shalt be banished!