Tradition

I've been struggling this month.  I've been sick since before Thanksgiving (which may be related to a whole other medical issue we are just finding out about), I have to give up my dog, my sister moved across the country...  I'm struggling to resist the urge to succumb to the intense depressing feelings I've been having.

My therapist, Julie (you all have heard me talk of her before), asked me to get into the Christmas spirit to help release this inner pressure that was overtaking me.  She said dig out old traditions and get them back up and running.  Which kind of lead me into more sadness because all the traditions and things I loved as a child are not possible for me to do for my kids.

My dad used to string lights from the eaves of our house each year.  They were set to a timer and would click on at dusk lighting up our house like magic....Unfortunately, we don't have electrical outlets outside.

We used to put the train set together around the trunk of the tree. I'd lay on the floor for the longest time just watching it go round and round, in and out of the presents waiting for us under the tree...No train set now, and even if we had one, Ernie would eat it.

We used to gather as a huge extended family at my grandparents' house.  Our family, my uncle, my aunt, we would all be under the same roof and all wake up together to open presents in the morning in our pajamas.  I remember the fire place, the huge breakfast and the glugg (a traditional hot alcoholic beverage that was served among the adults all day).  I remembered smelling my Gramma's cooking all day long drooling for the chance to taste something.  Now in the present, traveling like this as a family isn't possible because of finances.  Six of us on an airplane costs a couple thousand dollars, then add on renting a car, entertainment, etc.  Also, my kids are terrorists in other peoples' houses so I tend to avoid doing that at all costs.

I had a hard time, but I still tried.  I turned on our Christmas Pandora station in the car and sang along with my kids.  I DVRed every single Christmas special on TV and would sit and watch them with my kids all bundled up under a blanket with one or another (or even two) on my lap.  I wrapped presents and put them under the tree, adding a few more each day so the kids got to watch the pile grow with anticipation.  I baked cookies and made peppermint bark.  I tried so hard.  But I didn't feel it.  Plus, I didn't know if my kids did either.  Are they as excited for Christmas as I always was?  Do they feel the warmth?  Are they getting those lifelong memories that I had acquired?

Then I started seeing daily photos posted on Facebook by my friend Alyssa. The pictures were of an elf doing the cutest things I have ever seen.  I started to research this Elf on the Shelf, and I fell in love with this idea.  The story is that Santa sends an elf to your house to keep an eye on the kids during the day.  Each night the elf flies back to Santa and gives him his report.  Upon coming back to your house, he ends up in a new place each time.  The original plan, I believe, was to just move the elf from shelf to shelf, location to location, but this has grown into a huge display of creativity among moms (and probably dads too).

Some elves return home and do a little decorating for you:

Some catch a cold and decide to nap by the tissues all day:

Some draw pictures of their kids and remind them to be good:

What's a better way to anticipate Christmas than to wake up every morning to a little "Where's Waldo" for the kids?  The magic, the fun, the tradition....

The above pictures are of our elf, Gustopher Frederick.  Or Gus Fred for short.  Upon his arrival, we read his book and were told to name him.  We decided to go with Gus.  Then a few hours later, Jaxon asked if Fred could be his middle name.  I jokingly said, "As in Gustopher Frederick?"  And that stuck.

The book explains that if you touch Gustopher, he will lose his magic.  So each day, the kids found him, and each day, he stayed in that place all day reminding them that he was going to report to Santa that night.  I cannot tell you how many times the kids tattled to Gustopher...and I admit, we often threatened with, "Gus Fred will tell Santa that you are not sharing right now!"

The elves return back to the north pole with Santa when he comes to deliver the presents.  So the morning of Christmas eve is the last time the kids will see Gustopher until next year.  I'm not sure who will miss him more, the kids...or me....

This gave me the chance to feel excited for Christmas.  This gave me the chance to make memories for my kids.  

I'm creative by nature.  I can draw, write, paint, create...  I thrive on imagination.  This was perfect for me.  Every night, I was so excited when my kids went to sleep so I could move Gustopher into his new location and his new adventure.  I got really into it, smearing chocolate on his face when he got into the candies, writing itty bitty notes to the kids and ripping up tiny crumpled tissues when he caught a cold....  Yah, this was for the kids, but it was for me too.

Right not, Gustopher is having a farewell party with a bunch of the kids' toys:

See you next year, Gustopher!  We will all miss you and look forward to your return next Thanksgiving to countdown to Christmas.  Thanks for giving my kids a new tradition and memories they will hold on to the rest of their lives!