Dear Bus Driver,
I realize you are shoved on to a bus with a crap ton of unruly students and have to focus on driving them safely to and from school each day. That's why I offered a suggestion on how to keep my child from getting bullied on your bus. Your contention towards me and putting down my idea immediately IN FRONT OF MY CHILD all the while telling me how he is such a bad kid is NOT acceptable. I'm trying to make your job easier. I tried to work this out with you, but obviously you are no help. I'm skipping you now and moving upward. If being a pro-active parent who makes suggestions to teachers, bus drivers, and other authority figures on how to stop bullying is a bad thing...then I just wanna be bad!
Sincerely,
A mom who has been there, and won't let my kid be there any longer
Showing posts with label bullying. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bullying. Show all posts
Monday, November 7, 2011
Big Bully
I'm really trying to practice positivity lately. I look at a negative situation and find something good about it.
This weekend our heat broke so we spent 48 hours in the cold. We complained about the heat but we also got to spend 2 hours in our bed on Saturday morning with the kids watching cartoons.
My kids have all gone through this illness causing them to miss two days of school. They mostly felt poopy the first day, but then the second they were back to normal. The positive? One on one special days with each child. Something they rarely get.
I'm having a hard time finding a positive to one thing though. JJ (age 6) has been being bullied. At least that's what I feel is the stem of all his outbursts. When he has an emotional breakdown at school or on the bus, he almost always mentions a certain child or group of children.
This morning we got a phone call about ten minutes after the kids left for the bus stop (which is a block from our house). The bus driver couldn't get JJ on the bus. He was laying on the ground crying. Luke had to go down to the bus stop and pick him up. One of the moms that frequently accompanies her kids to the bus stop was sitting on the ground with him rubbing his back trying to calm him down. (Thanks Stacy!) The bus driver told us that just as she was pulling up she saw Salvador push JJ who then dropped to the ground crying. Oh Salvador, it's always you...
We got JJ home and talked to him. He says he hates the bus. Salvador, Tristan and their sister pick on him...Robert, Gavin and Blake join in... Coincidentally, all these children, including JJ, are the "trouble makers" on the bus so they sit in the front few seats. Somehow, they manage to keep being pains in the ass even with these seat assignments. Probably has something to do with the fact that they are now all able to band together against the weak one.
I can't say that JJ is the saint in all of this. He has his moments of not being so nice...mostly with his siblings...in fact, I've never really heard about it with other kids. The thing is JJ is very emotional. He is his mother's son. When these boys pick on him, they get a rise. Whether it's tears or anger, they get a reaction. They get what they want. From personal experience with this over abundance of emotion, I can tell you that ignoring the bullying is so hard because the tears will just fly. I could keep myself from flying off the handle in anger, but I could never keep myself from crying. I think JJ is there too.
Let's think positively...dammit, it's so hard with this. My son is hurting and I cannot do anything about it. Positive, positive, positive...I can teach my son (and my other children for that matter) that this is what how feels when we bully others. I can teach them to stand up for the other child getting picked on. I can use this opportunity to reinforce my son's good behavior as he didn't fight back. I can show him that I am also as emotional as he and that's not a bad thing. I can show him my love (any excuse to do that is fine by me).
One more positive, I can ask you all to teach your kids too.
With all this being said, I ask you to please join this movement: Be More Heroic. And view this video made by them using Foster the People's "Pumped Up Kicks". It's poignant! It's amazing what one person can do.
This weekend our heat broke so we spent 48 hours in the cold. We complained about the heat but we also got to spend 2 hours in our bed on Saturday morning with the kids watching cartoons.
My kids have all gone through this illness causing them to miss two days of school. They mostly felt poopy the first day, but then the second they were back to normal. The positive? One on one special days with each child. Something they rarely get.
I'm having a hard time finding a positive to one thing though. JJ (age 6) has been being bullied. At least that's what I feel is the stem of all his outbursts. When he has an emotional breakdown at school or on the bus, he almost always mentions a certain child or group of children.
This morning we got a phone call about ten minutes after the kids left for the bus stop (which is a block from our house). The bus driver couldn't get JJ on the bus. He was laying on the ground crying. Luke had to go down to the bus stop and pick him up. One of the moms that frequently accompanies her kids to the bus stop was sitting on the ground with him rubbing his back trying to calm him down. (Thanks Stacy!) The bus driver told us that just as she was pulling up she saw Salvador push JJ who then dropped to the ground crying. Oh Salvador, it's always you...
We got JJ home and talked to him. He says he hates the bus. Salvador, Tristan and their sister pick on him...Robert, Gavin and Blake join in... Coincidentally, all these children, including JJ, are the "trouble makers" on the bus so they sit in the front few seats. Somehow, they manage to keep being pains in the ass even with these seat assignments. Probably has something to do with the fact that they are now all able to band together against the weak one.
I can't say that JJ is the saint in all of this. He has his moments of not being so nice...mostly with his siblings...in fact, I've never really heard about it with other kids. The thing is JJ is very emotional. He is his mother's son. When these boys pick on him, they get a rise. Whether it's tears or anger, they get a reaction. They get what they want. From personal experience with this over abundance of emotion, I can tell you that ignoring the bullying is so hard because the tears will just fly. I could keep myself from flying off the handle in anger, but I could never keep myself from crying. I think JJ is there too.
Let's think positively...dammit, it's so hard with this. My son is hurting and I cannot do anything about it. Positive, positive, positive...I can teach my son (and my other children for that matter) that this is what how feels when we bully others. I can teach them to stand up for the other child getting picked on. I can use this opportunity to reinforce my son's good behavior as he didn't fight back. I can show him that I am also as emotional as he and that's not a bad thing. I can show him my love (any excuse to do that is fine by me).
One more positive, I can ask you all to teach your kids too.
With all this being said, I ask you to please join this movement: Be More Heroic. And view this video made by them using Foster the People's "Pumped Up Kicks". It's poignant! It's amazing what one person can do.
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