All is normal....but I can't help but feel like I'm waiting for the balloon to burst. You know how when someone is blowing up a balloon and it looks so cool while it gets bigger and bigger. You're in awe of how it looks. Then you start noticing the latex is stretching quite a bit and you squint your eyes bracing yourself for it to pop. You know it's coming, but when will it happen?
I don't really know it's coming, but I feel like it is. I guess we've just been through so much with Tyson, I'm waiting for the next pile of shit to hit the fan. Heck, the shit may not even be about Tyson, but I feel like it's going to come sometime in the future.
Alright, enough with the pity party. I'm going to put on my big girl panties and look at the good.
Tyson came home on Sunday all smiles. He and I went to school for a couple of hours yesterday and he did great. He giggled all afternoon, then gently fell asleep on my chest after dinner that night. What a nice normal day!
Today we went to school together again. He did fine, but got a little tired towards the end of our stay. I don't blame him, I went home and took a nap too. Luke is working tonight, so it's just me and the kids and all has gone smoothly (so far). Wait, that's not normal though...
Tomorrow, Ty and I are going to go in to school for the whole morning, 8am to lunch (I think noon). If all goes well, he should be back up to the full day on Thursday.
Let me tell you, I'm pooped! Imagine yourself watching a suspense thriller on the edge of your seat. Feel how tense your body is? I did that for about 10 days...well and all yesterday just making sure everything was progressing normally.
I need to relax. I need a hot tub. I need a massage. I need mind numbing drugs (preferably prescribe because I'm not really into the illegal type) to just give my mind a rest for a little while.
Remember that vacation I asked for, God? Anytime now...thanks!
Hope you get some rest and time to get away for a vacation soon Taylor <3 Love, Mandy
ReplyDeleteStay positive!! If you are waiting for the sh-- to hit the fan, you are allowing yourself to be distracted by something that might never happen. If you pray....why worry? If you want to worry...why pray? Yah yu!!
ReplyDeleteI do that too. I've spent years waiting with that kind of anxiety. The problem for me was always that because I spent all my time and energy tensing up for the next catastrophe, I had no energy to enjoy the good times in between, and worse, when something minor happened, I thought it WAS the catastrophe. I made a lot of mountains out of molehills, and so it just reinforced my theory that something bad was going to happen. No advice, just saying it's not fun, so I hope you're able to come down from the anxiety stuff.
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