Monday equals therapy....and I skipped last Monday's session because I wanted to talk to my psychiatrist about this stuff first. I should remember that when I tell on my therapist, it will always get back to her. I hate feeling like those who are taking care of my psychiatric/psychological needs are talking behind my back. That's good enough to make anyone feel paranoid (not just us "crazy people").
I knew this therapy session was going to suck today because we had to talk about what happened. It didn't go well either. In fact, I left a half hour early again saying that I will study the "Interpersonal Effectiveness" part of DBT and come back next week ready to discuss this stuff.
I did find out two things about myself though:
1. I never feel like I'm good enough.
2. I'm really mean when in an argument. (Suppose I already knew that one but didn't want to admit it.)
Maybe that's why I lose friends so easily...and why I'm so needy...and now I'm digging my depression hole a little deeper.
I'm off to put off "studying" and do some other stuff....and so it goes.
Err, yes you are good enough and I don't think you lose friends easily - you've kept onto me for over 5 years now!
ReplyDeleteRelationships with friends grow and develop - that might sometimes mean that you grow closer but can also mean you grow apart. That's just the way it is sometimes - especially when you have a large family to keep you busy!