And then we realized he's a goat and he should be named Houdini.
Ernie (who was first named Ninja, but then Tyson changed it with help from my mom) is now 9 months old, and 35lbs. So that vet who said he was only going to be about 15lbs full grown needs to be kicked in the shin. He eats everything in our house from blankets to clothes to toys to cords (how he hasn't been electrocuted already is beyond me) to plants to garbage to Jelly's poop (blech!)...EVERYTHING! And he is still smart...too smart. He knows what he is doing is wrong, so he does it where you can't see him. Or he finds another way to do it so you have to say no to that too. "Mom, you said I couldn't eat the YELLOW ball, I am eating the RED one now!" Maybe he's taking lessons from our evil genius, Cooper.
Last summer we put up this nice green wire fence. It's rather flimsy, but we did it to keep the kids in and to save some money on getting a chain link fence. Plus, it's prettier than chain link because it's the same color as the grass, so you can't see it as much. It's about 4 feet tall and perfect for reminding the kids they can't go running out in the road. And Jelly is kept in, no problem.
Then we get a little peanut that grows into a tank. The interesting thing is that he hasn't yet realized he can probably knock the fence over. Nope, he's just found every single way he can possibly get through it. From pushing the gate...which we then reinforced with bungee cords...to pulling the gate because he couldn't push it anymore...which resulted in double bungee cords....to chewing the fencing on the gate so he could go through the slats....which then concluded with splurging (thanks to my in-laws) on a chain link fence from the garage to the house (about 13-15 feet) to keep the damn dog in...to figuring out that he could squeeze his body under the rest of the fence....which made us tack the entire thing down with metal stakes. We finally thought we had it like Fort Knox today. Then my father-in-law came in the house to tell me he was taking the van for an oil change and informed me that Ernie had escaped once again to run after some bicyclists. WHAT??!! Where did he find a hole this time?
I can only wonder what our neighbors think of him. We are always having to chase after him yelling his name and trying to stealthily pounce on him to bring him back home. We are constantly trying to figure out how we can make it so he can't find a hole to weasel his way out of the fence. How can our dog be 10 times smarter than us?
On top of all of this, Ernie is the stinkiest farter in the world! I mean, his farts stick to your nose hairs, fill up your lungs and swirl around in their making you cough and gag. And it's not like he farts once or twice a day. It's more like once or twice every ten minutes. Even the kids have been able to differentiate Ernie's farts from Ty's poopy diapers and any human flatulence in the house.
We often say "damn dog", "big dummy", "stupid Ernie", etc. We tell him we want to give him to the pound. We tell him he's going to be evicted. Luke tells him he's MY dog. The kids tell us that we should give Ernie away and just keep Jelly "the good dog".
But man, I sure do love him! With all his not-so-savory qualities, he's got the biggest heart too. He loves to bound up into my lap and put his head on my shoulder hugging me just like my kids do. He loves to snuggle Jelly while taking a nap. He knows when things are rough and gives me extra love. When Ty has been sick lately, he likes to lay at his feet or curl up next to him on the chair.
Maybe he's going through the terrible twos, maybe he'll grow out of it all....maybe he'll just rival Marley for the position of World's Worst Dog. But I'm not giving up on him. I love him too much!
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| Yah better believe he attacked the camera right after I took this picture! |
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